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Strangest Coincidences

It was written

Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."


Lightning strikes back

  • A British officer, Major Summerford, while fighting in the fields of Flanders in February 1918 was knocked off his horse by a flash of lightning and paralyzed from the waist down. Summerford retired and moved to Vancouver. One day in 1924, as he fished alongside a river, lightning hit the tree he was sitting under and paralyzed his right side. Two years later Summerford was sufficiently recovered that he was able to take walks in a local park. He was walking there one summer day in 1930 when a lightning bolt smashed into him, permanently paralyzing him. He died two years later. But lightning sought him out one last time. Four years later, during a storm, lightning struck a cemetery and destroyed a tombstone. The deceased buried here? Major Summerford.

  • In 1899 a bolt of lightning killed a man as he stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy.
    Thirty years later his son was killed in the same way and in the same place.
    On October 8, 1949, Rolla Primarda, the grandson of the first victim and the son of the second, became the third


    • A. Lincoln and J.F. Kennedy

    Life


  • Both presidents had 7 letters in their last name.
  • Both were over 6' feet tall.
  • Both men studied law.
  • Both seemed to have lazy eye muscles, which would sometimes cause one to deviate.
  • Both suffered from genetic diseases. It is suspected that Lincoln had Marfan's disease, and Kennedy suffered from Addison's disease.
  • Both served in the military. Lincoln was a scout captain in the Black Hawk War, and Kennedy served as a navy lieutenant in World War II.
  • Both were boat captains. Lincoln was a skipper for the Talisman, a Mississippi River boat, and Kennedy was skipper of the PT 109.
  • Both had no fear of their mortality and disdained bodyguards.
  • Both often stated how easy it would be to shoot the president. Lincoln supposedly said, "If somebody wants to take my life, there is nothing I can do to prevent it." Kennedy supposedly said "If somebody wants to shoot me from a window with a rifle, nobody can stop it." Note that both these quotes are each 16 words long.

    Death
  • Both presidents were shot in the head, on a Friday.
  • Both were seated beside their wives when shot. Neither Mrs. Lincoln nor Mrs. Kennedy was injured. Both wives held the bullet-torn heads of their husbands.
  • In each case, the man was injured but not fatally. Major Henry Rathbone was slashed by a knife, and Governor John Connolly was shot.
  • Lincoln sat in Box 7 at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy rode in car 7 in the Dallas motorcade.
  • Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Ford product, a Lincoln limousine.
  • Mrs. Kennedy insisted that her husband's funeral mirror Lincoln's as closely as possible.

    The Assassins
  • Both assassins used three names: John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald. (It should be noted that Lee Harvey Oswald was known as just Lee Oswald prior to the assassination.)
  • There are 15 letters in each assassin's name.
  • Both assassins struck when in their mid-twenties. Booth was born in 1838, and Oswald was born in 1939.
  • Each assassin lacked a strong father figure in his life. Booth's father died when he was 13 years old, and Oswald's father died before he was born.
  • Each assassin had two brothers whose careers he coveted. Booth's two brothers were more successful actors and Oswald envied his brothers' military lives.
  • Both assassins were privates in the military. Booth was a private in the Virginia Militia, and Oswald was a private in the Marine Corps.
  • Both assassins were born in the south.
  • Both assassins were known sympathizers to enemies of the United States. Booth supported the Confederacy and Oswald was a Marxist.
  • Both assassins often used aliases. Booth frequently used "J. Wilkes" and Oswald used the name "Alek J. Hidell."
  • Booth shot Lincoln at a theatre and was cornered in a warehouse. Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and was cornered in a theatre.
  • Each assassin was detained by an officer named Baker. Lt. Luther B. Baker was leader of the cavalry patrol which trapped Booth at Garrett's Barn. Officer Marion L. Baker, a Dallas motorcycle patrolman, briefly detained Oswald on the second floor of the School Book Depository until he learned that he worked there.
  • Both assassins were killed with a single shot from a Colt revolver.
  • Both assassins were shot in a blaze of light-Booth after the barn was set afire, and Oswald in the form of television cameras.

    Family and Friends
  • Both presidents were named after their grandfathers.
  • Both were born second children.
  • Both married while in their thirties. Lincoln married at 33 and Kennedy married at 36.
  • Both married dark-haired, twenty-four-year-old women.
  • Both wives died around the age of 64. Mary Todd Lincoln died in 1882 at age 63 years and 215 days, and Jackie Kennedy died in 1994 at age 64 years 295 days.
  • Both wives were known for their high fashion in clothes.
  • Both wives renovated the White House after many years of neglect.
  • Each couple had four children, two of whom died before becoming a teen.
  • Each couple lost a son while in the White House. Willie Lincoln died at age 12 in 1862, and Kennedy's son Patrick died two days after his birth in 1963.

    Politics
  • Both presidents were elected to the House of Representatives in '46.
  • Both were runners-up for the party's nomination for vice-president in '56.
  • Both were elected to the presidency in '60.

    Vice-Presidents
  • Southern Democrats named Johnson succeeded both Lincoln and Kennedy (Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Baines Johnson.
  • Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, and Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.
  • There are six letters in each Johnson's first name.
  • Both Johnsons served in the military. Andrew was a brigadier general in the Civil War and Lyndon was a commander in the U.S. Navy during WW2.
  • Both Johnsons were former southern senators.
  • Both Johnsons had urethral stones, the only presidents to have them.
  • Both Johnsons chose not to run for reelection in '68.

    • Post a comment Tags: funny

    Quotes from 11 Year Old's' Science Exams

    "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.  Oxygin is pure gin.  Hydrogin is gin and water."

    "When you breathe, you inspire.  When you do not breathe, you expire."

    "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

    "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold down a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

    "When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

    "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

    "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

    "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

    "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

    "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

    "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

    "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

    "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

    "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

    "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the
    abominable cavity.  The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, I, o and u."

    "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

    "Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."

    "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

    "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

    "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

    "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

    "For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."

    "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."

    "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.  Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

    "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days.  If he has not recovered, then kill it."

    "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

    "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

    "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

    "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

    "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

    "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

    "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides
    have been taken off.  The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

    "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars,and eight cuspidors."

    "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.  All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

    "A fossil is an extinct animal.  The older it is, the more extinct it is."

    "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

    "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

    "Liter: A nest of young puppies."

    "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."


    		Drinking Politics 
    spacer
     A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender.

     He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached."

     The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!"

    "Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down." "That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?"

     "Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says. "Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says.

     So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside.

    The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda."

    "Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."


    Post a comment Tags: funny, humor, joke

    True facts

    1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
    2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
    3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.
    4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
    5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop - even your heart!
    6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
    7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
    8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2 - 6 years old.
    9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. (If married, a lot longer!)
    10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
    11. The average housefly lives for one month.
    12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
    13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
    14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
    15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
    16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
    17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
    18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
    19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
    20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
    21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
    22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
    23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
    24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
    25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
    26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.


    Husband 1.0
    Tech Support



    Subject:  Service guide for husbands


    Dear Tech Support:

            Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that  the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

            In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.  I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

            Desperate



    Dear Desperate:

            Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.  Try to enter the command: C:\>I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.  Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.  But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "snoring loudly" wave files.

            DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

            In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  Consider buying additional software to improve performance.  I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.


    Regards,
    Rojak


     

     

    Post a comment Tags: funny, humor